The stress, it’s real.

You know what?  I’m stressed.

There, I admitted it.  That’s the first step?

I’ve dealt with stress in the past; don’t we all?  Generally, I’m a good stress handle-er.  At my core, I’m an optimistic person, and for the most part, stress usually doesn’t get the best of me.  Sure, there are days when I’ve got more on my plate than others and I feel a bit overwhelmed, but I typically do a pretty good job of keeping my shit together.

And no, I’m not totally and completely wigging out over here, but my metaphoric plate is heaping over right about now.  And guess what? It’s not filled with just clean, healthy stuff either.

Red wine.  Red wine has been a good comfort lately.  Not to escape the stress exactly, but a nice glass after a tough day, sitting on the couch in my favorite jammies and warm socks, drinking a glass of Pinot, well, things feel a little bit better right then.

Some yummy recipes that I have been trying out lately have been keeping my plate full too, but that’s not really what I’m getting at. The stress that I have that’s weighing my plate down is manifesting in a few different ways lately, and some of them are new to me.

Emotionally- I’m having trouble quieting my mind.  Usually I’m a pretty outgoing person who loves to spend time with others and laugh and socialize, but I’ve been feeling the need to retreat a little bit.  I’m definitely more irritable and edgy, and my husband? Let’s just say the combo of us has been a bit … tumultuous this past week.

Physically- Hello headaches!  And goodbye a restful night’s sleep.  With my mind going a million miles a minute, resting and relaxing has been tough, and sleep has been hard to come by.

Mentally- Worrying, I’m doing my fair share of it.  Though I’m able to keep a good perspective and my optimism usually wins out, I’m human and I’m still nervous by nature, and a lot of it is about things I have no control over.  The worst. 

So where’s all this stemming from?  My husband and I are smack down in the middle of buying our first home together, and damn if that’s not a good way to test a relationship.

Truth be told, we’re doing pretty okay.  Of course this whole process is just inherently stressful based on what it is- finally picking a place to make your own, hoping beyond hope that you’re making the right decision.  Throwing all of your money towards that decision and hoping that the sellers will pick us, choose us, love us (cue Merideth Grey’s famous plea to Derek).

It’s a lot of stress over here, and I’m trying to find balance.

Trying to continue to eat healthy.  Exercising often.  I took a wonderful ten mile run yesterday and so enjoyed every bit of the brisk autumn New England weather we’re having.  Talking with family and friends- our parents and close friends who have been through this process have been awesome and so valuable to us these past few weeks.  Having fun.  My husband and I are still trying to make time for the things we enjoy.  Watching a comedy special on Netflix.  Grabbing a couple beers or dressing up as Forrest Gump and Jenny for Halloween.  Cooking together.  Being silly.

Because the thing is?  Life goes on.  Stress happens.  It’s real, and it’s not awesome, but it’s life.  And we can either find ways to cope with it the best we can, asking for help when we need it, or what?  The opposite?  Let the stress totally consume us and tear us down?

It’s all about the balance- finding a way to balance a full plate without toppling it over and making a total mess of everything.  It’s not easy, but it’s life.  And we’ll get through it.

How do you handle a stressful time?  Best go-to stress reliever?

Some helpful resources for managing stress:

8 thoughts on “The stress, it’s real.

  1. Buying a home is so stressful since it’s such a big decision and you want to feel confident that you are making the right decision! It will be good to have this process behind you so you can focus on making this home your own, but I can understand why this is a tumultuous time for you guys. I’ve had different periods of stress in my life in the last year, mostly related to my career (finding a job, adjusting to a new work environment, stressing about whether I’m living up to my boss’s expectations). I don’t handle stress all that well as I tend to just sort of keep all my feelings in and let them fester… but I am working on talking more about things with my boyfriend when they are bothering me as I know it’s healthy to do that. My favorite way to relieve stress is to run but I also like spending quiet time reading or knitting.

  2. I can totally relate to everything you are going through – as you may already know! Just know that in the house hunting game…if this house does not work out, the right one will come along for sure! It is sooo hard not to get emotionally attached to a house…but I am hoping this one is the one for you guys – keep us posted!!!

    I think putting it out there – you stress – is for sure the first step! I have a tendency to bottle it up and internalize it. I have found in the last couple of years that my body can’t handle it like it used too and it ends up affecting my overall health – which is never a good thing! As we get a bit older we realize just how important it is to find that “balance” as you noted in your first post. Sometimes its not always there, but as soon as you realize it – you can hopefully find your way back to “center” – whether its a coffee date with a friend, a marathon spin class or a 15 minute window of meditation….I know all those things help me! Thanks for sharing!!

  3. Oh, home buying! As fun as it was for us to look nearly 2.5 years ago, I am not in any hurry to do it again. The phone calls, the endless requests for paper trails on finances, going back and forth between buyers. Not to mention the packing (I loathe packing!). It’s terribly stressful so I get that, for sure.

    Ways I manage my stress: long, long walks with Jack (the dog) and Knight if he’s up to it. Sometimes I don’t mind it being just me, either. Nice to clear the brain. I love a good ass kicking workout, baking something delicious though I’m careful to send whatever goodies with the hubs to his office so they aren’t in my face; watching one of my favorite shows even if I’ve seen it 100 times, a few double stuf oreos (i know, so bad for me) + a cup of milk, or diving into a good book. That’s not to say I manage it well all the time but I try. That counts for something, right?

  4. Lisa- Running, reading, knitting… those are all great tools to help reduce stress! I’m glad to hear you’re talking about things more with your boyfriend too- it’s hard after a while to let things bottle up- it ends up getting the best of us!

    Kate- I know that YOU know and understand house hunting stress first hand! Thank you for stopping by and commenting my friend! I’m glad that you have a few go-to ways to reduce stress. Keeping it in and not finding ways to cope or at least attempt to can really wear us down after a while. Sounds like you have some good tricks to help you de-stress for sure!

    Nora- Making small attempts to handle stress totally counts! I mean, it’s not always going to work, but it’s great to know a few go-to things that we know have worked in the past. And you mentioned double stuffed oreos and said they’re bad– go easy on yourself! In the previous sentence you mentioned a kick ass workout! You have the balance down– the kick ass workout make the oreos that much more enjoyable, I think. Everything in moderation, right?

  5. Buying a home is stressful! We tried to make it as logical a decision as we could- we actually had a spreadsheet (my husband is an engineer) with all of our needs/wants and wrote notes on each house we saw (because they tend to run together after a while). You are never going to get exactly what you want but figure out what your needs vs. your wants are and you can make it work once you move in! For our last house purchase 2.5 years ago I didn’t even get to see the house until it was almost time for the closing (we were moving from CT to IL and I was still in CT with the dogs and selling our old house)!! Talk about stressful! 🙂

  6. Ah I remember this! Buying a house is like a part time job you don’t have time for! I’m sorry it’s stressful right now, but if and when the right house works out it’ll be worth it. I love our home, and there’s something so nice about being settled (and not just into a lease). Prayer has been most helpful to me during these stressful seasons. Best wishes!

  7. nonsequiturchica- Hi lady! It’s been a while! Thanks for the tips- we did the same thing- made lists of what we wanted, what our “musts” were, and what we couldn’t live without. Seems we’ve found the perfect one for us, and we’re so excited!

    Ally- Hi old friend! It IS like a part time job, and the toughest part (or one of them!) is that life is still going on, like… working a full time job at the same time, and things don’t just stop in life so that you can deal with this new part time gig! Thanks for your support and encouragement!

  8. You have a really great perspective and making time to be silly is so key to handling stress. It’s what saves me…when I can make room for it. I think they say buying a house is on like the top 10 most stressful things you’ll ever do. I know it nearly pushed me over the edge. It’s not fun. But when it’s all done you’ll have a house! So exciting! 🙂

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